Valentine’s Day

By Jessica Daniel

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Valentine’s Day is a special day that is celebrated all over the world where couples come together and show their love for one another by giving each other chocolates, flowers, going out to dinner, and just spending time with one another.

For people who are single, Valentine’s Day can be depressing when you see people you know who are either dating or married, and you haven’t met that special someone yet.

Although being single on Valentine’s Day by the world’s standards often times labels you as a “loner,” it is through a deep, personal relationship with God that allows you to realize just how much He really loves you and is using this season in your life as a way for you to draw near to Him.

God loved us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus to die for us, to pay the ultimate price so that we could have a relationship with Him (John 3:16). Jesus is our ultimate Valentine!

For those of us who are single, God is preparing our hearts, as we grow deeper in Him, for that special man or woman that He has chosen just for us. It is through Jesus’ never ending love that gives me the joy and fulfillment that no other person could ever give me.

This Valentine’s Day, if you are single, enjoy this time in your life getting to know the One who died for you and chose you as His very own.

GodsValentine

Single and Waiting

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By Jessica Daniel

It seems like everyone you know is in a relationship. You may have friends who are dating right now or have gotten married to their soul mate, and you can’t help but wonder why you haven’t met your soul mate and why you are still single, especially when people around you ask “Why haven’t you met anyone?” That is a pretty common question that many people who are single get asked. I get asked that question myself sometimes as a young woman, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” and I just smile and say “I’m not ready for one yet.” I would rather be single and wait for the right one to come along than to rush and settle for the wrong one.

Many people believe that in order to be happy and whole one should be in a relationship. Some even settle for whoever comes along regardless of how he or she treats them because they want to be with someone so bad. The truth is, no man or woman can ever make you truly happy and whole or fulfill the deepest desires of your heart. It is up to you to find that true joy and fulfillment within yourself by discovering the one who gives you that joy and fulfillment inside of you, which is Jesus. Being single is a great opportunity for each of us to discover our self-worth and who we are in Christ. It is the most important time of our lives as we learn to love and feel good about ourselves and never settle for less because God has the absolute best in store for each and every one of us. He knows who our spouse will be because He set aside that special someone just for us. God knows and can truly fulfill the desires of our hearts if we learn to trust Him and wait for that man or woman He has in place for us to marry.

Being single and waiting for the right person for you is not a bad thing at all. In order to be ready for any relationship, you first have to feel content and happy with who you are as an individual. For me, being single is a time for me to grow in my relationship with God as He shapes and molds me to be the young woman He is preparing me to be for the man I marry someday. Until then, I am happily single and waiting.

Plight Of A Single Mother

In today’s society the family structure has shifted, almost twenty years ago the rate of single parents wasn’t as significant as it is now. There are plenty of factors that tie into the reasons of why several women are becoming single mothers at alarming rates. Sometimes, things happen, such as death, divorce, etc. Plenty of women are single mothers by choice. But there are those that exploit the view of the positive single mothers.

Photo courtesy of Huffington Post
Photo courtesy of Huffington Post

Society truly has a skewed view on the existence of single mothers. Most believe that single mothers are the result of whoring around and trapping men with babies to continue with a façade of a relationship. Or that these women want to just live off of the government welfare system forever. This has given a black eye to the truly undeserving individuals who need to rely on the help of the corporate government to feed their children as oppose to those who abuse the system or look at gaining child support funds from a guy.

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The media doesn’t make these women look any better especially with TV Shows such as with “Maury Povich,” where we usually 9x out of ten see young black women portrayed as loud, ghetto, ignorant and often clueless as to who fathered their babies while America gets to sit back and laugh at their shame. What satire this is? While on the other hand their are shows on MTV such as, “16 & Pregnant” and “Teen Mom,” that actually glorifies in my opinion the acceptance of white teen girls getting pregnant at young ages.  The racial double standard is kind of sad and disgusting.

How single mothers are viewed on this show
How single mothers are viewed on this show

Sometimes, single mothers must work two jobs to support the household. It is rough but it has to be done. Although, single black mothers are at risk for falling into poverty their are plenty of successful single mothers in the world that are holding it together without the father in the home. While all the blame is often put on the women for breeding with men they may not have known wouldn’t stick around what about the men who abandon their children? Child support doesn’t get issued to all single mothers. Their are plenty of fathers who just back out of the parenting role altogether. Some claim that it is too much responsibility for them to handle or just plain haven’t grown up yet. I believe, however, the biggest reason why single parenting may exist outside of death or divorce, etc. The black family structure has been broken down. Black men are leaving the home, or being incarcerated thus leaving the women to take care of things.  This leaves some boys to grow up without fathers and lack the knowledge of what it takes to be a real man in today’s society.

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The good gets mixed in with the bad often times. Most of the time when society thinks of black mothers they believe that we are ignorant, uneducated, extremely poor, inadequate parents, living off welfare with two or three kids by several different men. Nobody thinks that perhaps some mothers want more for their live and kids. Some mothers who not only work two jobs, are putting themselves in college, running their own businesses, or sending their successful kids off to college for the first time. The same could be said about single dads. But the media is so focused on devaluing the African American culture it’s ridiculous.

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Positive news in the black community goes unreported all of the time because no one cares to see positive images of the black family structure in media. But until people can decipher the difference between entertainment and reality things will probably never change within our society.