Ladies:Know Your Worth 

  It is finally 2016, the perfect opportunity to start over fresh. No longer do you have to feel shackled by your past. This is the time to go after what is important to you. A new year gives way to start new things and set new goals. Such as, taking up a yoga class, growing closer to God, etc. 

 Knowing your worth is so important. Too many times in life we settle for what we think we deserve instead of what is sent from God. We allow partners to mistreat us because we want to feel loved. Or we seek validation and acceptance from an emotionally unavailable guy. Oftentimes we begin to place blame on why we were not good enough if a relationship fails. But if you weren’t treated with respect and care from that particular person then you are certainly not the one to blame for someone else’s bad behavior. 

  
What I don’t want us ladies to do in these particular situations is to dwell over what happened. Get back to your regular routine because lo and behold there’s better waiting for you just around the corner. Sometimes as much as it hurts to let people go it is mostly for your benefit. Don’t stay emotionally hung up on an asshole jerk because YOU DESERVE BETTER. You deserve better than a liar, manipulator, user, cheater. God loves you and he’ll never send you someone to hurt you. Living your life and fulfilling those dreams will boost your self-confidence so you will not only move on from the hurt (because he’s more than likely moved on and is hurting some other unsuspecting poor woman) but attract a better quality of people into your life. 

So in 2016, Know Your Worth, Don’t entertain b.s from anyone. You’re worth it ladies! Someone is always waiting to love you just the way you are! But we have to first love ourselves first. 😘

Re-segregation: A Step in the Wrong Direction

It is impossible not to notice the racial tensions that are growing within the United States as many Black Americas are enduring hardships and navigating their pent-up anger from the accumulation of racial injustices. Black Americans are justified in being fed up with how this country has handled race relations; however, to gain any substantial progress it is essential for the current generation to act wisely and deliberately as did the Civil Rights leaders of the past.  It is imperative that as Americans we understand that hate will not produce love, and that re-segregation will not get rid of inequalities. Recently I read an article on re-segregation where the basis of the article was simply stating that the author was for re-segregation because it would help specific racial communities flourish if that specific racial group were to simply ban together and exclude other racial groups. I disagree with this perspective for various reasons:

1). If people were to re-segregate, than the lines of communication and understanding would close.

It is sociologically proven that people naturally form prejudices, which are reinforced by a person’s social environment such as school, family, neighborhood, media etc. As a result of individual being shaped by society and close individuals around them, prejudices are naturally taught to them. This can be seen through certain images shown in the media such as the “dangerous Black male thug”, or racist jokes or memes told between friends. Such prejudices have real consequences as we have seen in current news headlines about racial profiling. Since people naturally form prejudices, the only way a prejudice can be refuted is by open dialogue and communication. It is known that in this society many fear Black men and women. If Blacks re-segregate, how will people realize that not all Black men and women are loud, angry, criminals looking for a fight? It is up to Blacks and all people of color to desegregate to therefore show that they are kind, intelligent, hardworking and trustworthy just like other racial groups that have those character traits automatically assigned to them. The only reason why the American Society has come so far in regards to racism is because institutionalized segregation was taken down for the most part. During the times where segregation was the norm, black people had no voice. If Blacks re-segregate, than we risk losing our voice. People learn through communication and new interactions and therefore if we de-segregate as much as possible we can reeducate those who accept the lies fed to them from the media and other social influences.

2). Re-segregation rejects everything that many during the 20th century Civil Rights Era fought for.

People gave their lives to eradicate segregation because they personally knew the negative effects it had on communities of color. If people segregate again, it will make it easier for institutionalized racism to perpetuate itself. Since power in this country is still with the White American majority, the images and ideas that are released into society are still controlled by those in power. This means that people of color will continue to not have equal representation or equal access to resources as the white majority does. Re-segregating would only make it easier for those in power to keep people of color down. The phrase “divide and conquer” comes to mind. If those in power are successful in dividing people of color against each other, than there will be no substantive progress. The Civil Rights Era as well as during the times of slavery had people from many racial backgrounds fight for equality. People of color as well as white Americans gave up their lives for racial equality. During those times of everyone (people of color and whites) banning together against institutionalized racism is when the Civil Rights movements were most productive.MEMORY B 08

3). Practice of “racial love” only helps to perpetuate racism.

I read an article explaining how an Asian man only would conduct business with other Asians, which therefore meant that he was practicing “Asian love”. I strongly disagree with this reasoning. Let’s put things into perspective. If a white store owner said “I only conduct business with white business owners”, he would obviously be looked at as a racist, all people of color need to be careful in not doing the same. Doing business with someone should not be contingent or race in general. People should do business with whomever meets the professional qualifications for the job. Hiring anyone or excluding anyone on the basis of race is discrimination.

By being inclusive, people naturally become exclusive. The solution is not to become more inclusive, however less inclusive to give everyone with the talent a chance to be successful. If we take the logic of “Black love, Mexican love, Asian love etc.” and to “engage business only with our own race” than can we really blame whites for doing so all throughout American History. People have already applied the concept of doing business only with “their own”, which is why there is such inequality in the United States today.

4). Desegregation has never fully been accomplished, which is why to some it may seem that desegregation has not worked.

Contrary to popular belief, segregation still exist in the United States, and is still very evident in a variety of social settings. Like I stated before, I attend Sacramento State, which is arguably one of the most diverse campuses in the United States. With this said, I still observe segregation every day. The segregation that I observe is not forced, however chosen by the people who knowingly or unknowingly engage in self-segregation. An example of what I am talking about is how although a campus may have diverse demographics, many tend to spend time with and engage in activities with members of the same race. In order for desegregation to truly be successful, the American society must first truly desegregate, and by doing so it would truly breed a greater understand and a collective push for equality.

Solutions?

Instead of re-segregating, communities need to unite, and not on the basis of race. The problem does not lie in being desegregated, however it lies in the fact that many have adopted the mindset of looking out only for “me and mine” rather than looking to see how they can help those around them and increase the standard of living for all. It is dangerous to believe that in the United States racial groups should simply stick together. The concept of re-segregation should not be adopted because it puts the solution on turning inwards and banning together. To adequately produce a greater understanding open communication with all racial groups is essential to produce lasting results that work for the good of everyone.

I believe that the authors of the articles I have read are actually trying to address a different problem that is within the Black community. Members of the black community should not pull each other down like crabs in a barrel, but rather up lift and support each other. An example of what I mean can be seen in numerous real world examples such as skin tone and hair texture.

Growing up, I have heard many men exclaim “I only date light-skinned Black girls”. This single phrase works to tear down some black members and elevate others within the Black community, and is therefore problematic because it illustrates a blatant rejection of Black qualities such as dark skin, while reaching towards physical White attributes such as light skin.

I read an interesting book by Beverly Tatum called “Why Are all of the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?”. In her book she stated how spending time with members of your own race is beneficial, however it ultimately depends on the motives. If a person is exclusively spending time with their own race to simply reject all that is associated with another race, than it is counterproductive. However, if a person decides to spend some time with members of their own race to encourage each other regarding racial struggles, than it is beneficial.

Black Americans should share who they are with those who do not understand them, or with those who only know the Black stereotypes shown to them in the media . Doing so would debunk the fearful and negative stereotypes that people have about the black community and in result breed acceptance and understanding from all racial groups. To sum it up, open communication is key, and communication comes from de-segregation and seeking multiracial interactions.

As racial tensions increase in this country, it is important to not self-segregate, but to show the love of Jesus to everyone. To love your enemies and to forgive as we have been forgiven. There is evil in this world, however the Bible says:

Romans

Delightfully Uplifting Fun Friend

 

Recently a movie entitled The Duff came to theaters.

The anagram stands for Designated Ugly Fat Friend and according to the movie’s heart-warming resolution, it also stands for equality.

Though the message of the movie seems to be that Hollywood’s young actors are ironically un-frumpy, it is actually, word for word, that “we are all somebody’s duff.” Believe it or not that is supposed to make us feel better. Leave it to the entertainment business to call us ugly and fat and pass it off as uplifting. In the moment, it may seem empowering, especially to someone who considers themselves in the duff category, to find oneself equal to instead of beneath others. And it is, in that one miniscule moment. In the long run though, this does not promote high self-esteem.bullying hurts us all

It is like finding out that the person you hate for being too perfect got the same bad grade on a math test you did. Welcome to my world you say in a mocking tone.

You can bask in the glory of this fact for a couple days but eventually it will lose its luster and you are back to feeling inferior.

This is why the duff theory is problematic. It is trying to bring these guys up by tearing those guys down.

The true solution lies in the elevation of confidence. Eliminate words like ugly and fat and promote those with a positive connotation like shapely and becoming, or dare I say, pretty. It is cliché? Yes. Is it pretentious to even suggest this? Maybe so.

Anyway, it is just an idea, expressed for the millionth time, while this on the other hand is a fact. Kids all across America suffer from inadequate self-esteem, and high school is where the inefficiency peaks.

It is what spurred the creation of the movie Duff, which despite its backhanded message, competently acknowledged the heavy hand bullying plays in our youth’s low self-esteem.

Spreading the word is integral to the decline of bullying, and changing what the “kids are saying these days” can’t hurt.

Hydeia Broadbent

Conquering The Myth: Living with HIV-The Hydeia Broadbent Story

Hydeia Broadbent

When you think of Hydeia Broadbent you think of a young lady who is living a courageous life. Hydeia spends her time spreading the message of HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention by promoting abstinence, and safe-sex practices.

“People think because I was born with HIV that my story doesn’t apply to them. The same disease I am living with is the same disease you can get if you don’t practice safe sex and know your HIV status and the HIV status of your sexual partner. I ask people to use my testimony as a warning of what you don’t want to go through.”

Young Urban Voices had the opportunity to interview Ms. Broadbent about living with the HIV disease.

Young Urban Voices: What is your story told through your words?

Hydeia Broadbent: I became an HIV activist at the age of 6. I kind of followed in my mother’s footsteps. When I was first diagonsed, we didn’t really have the money for treatment to deal with the HIV/AIDS.

Young Urban Voices: Why is it so important to you to speak out about HIV?

Hydeia Broadbent: Well, HIV/AIDS is 100% preventable. So I just want to inform people and give them options. You know, educate them. They need to know what the reality is. I want people to try and have as much information as possible so they can make wise choices.

Young Urban Voices: Some days I wake up and feel fine. It’s not like I’m sick everyday. You have bad days when you may wake up with a serious infection where there’s something serious going on. But from day to day people are able to operate and to live.

Young Urban Voices: Do you feel that you had to grow up differently than other children?

Hydeia Broadbent: Definitely, the first part of my years I spent about 20 months in the hospital until I was about 9 or 10 years old. I didn’t go to regular school, I didn’t have a lot of exposure to youth my age.

Young Urban Voices: How did you get started reaching out to the society?

Hydeia Broadbent: I started doing this because people were getting discriminated against. Also, a lot of my friends growing up were really scared and that’s what made me want to talk about it. I just wanted to make it better for my friends.

Young Urban Voices: What causes or benefits are you linked to?

Hydeia Broadbent: I’m the spokesperson for AMPRO haircare products for a year and my face will be on the product. But also if you buy a bracelet that reads: Til There’s A Cure. It’s to promote awareness and to educate people about HIV/AIDS.

Young Urban Voices: What is your biggest accomplishments in life?

Hydeia Broadbent: I know growing up I didn’t really have a relationship with my mom. I remember suffering from low self-esteem and depression from being in unhealthy relationships. So for me, the biggest accomplishments in life to date would just be, getting my mind right and working on my inner self so I can be a good person. I’d say that’s my biggest accomplishment because it takes a lot for a person to look in the mirror and say there are things about me that I don’t like and then correct those things. So that’ll be my biggest acomplishment.

Young Urban Voices: What was it like to appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show?

Hydeia Broadbent: They did an update show taping in January for the “Where are they know,” it was very fun. The response from the community was awesome.

“I’d like to encourage people to get tested for HIV and don’t think it can’t happen to you. HIV does not discriminate.”

You can reach out to Hydeia here http://www.hydeiabroadbent.com/

Stop Waiting and Manifest Your Dreams Into Reality

Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant

I can’t remember how many countless times I’ve stayed up late at night wondering when my life would truly take off the way I wanted. I don’t know the answer to this because I can’t see into the future but what I do know it won’t come to me by sitting and dreaming about it.

We can often complain about how better life treats some and how crappy it treats the rest of us. But we must ask ourselves what are we doing that is bringing us closer to our goals in life.
Hard work claims to be the answer for everything hmmm I sometimes don’t know about that. Networking also plays a significant role in whether you get to the top. So does a relentless pursuit to never give up. So I guess hard work is important.

As well as the need to decline the opinions of others and the worrying about the success of others while you’re on your journey. That’s another reason for stagnation, being too complacent in fear or comfort. Fear, comfort and convenience can go straight to hell. I’ve lived my entire life giving a crap about what others have thought about me. But let me tell you that issh gets you no where but some deep rooted insecurities. I use to let what others bother me so much that it stifled my growth and made me reconsider everything about myself.

I will tell you though however, I am a college graduate, published author, and small business owner. I’m a writer, that’s what I do. And if I could inspire someone with my books, my work or whatever then that is truly profound.

But back to the topic, STOP WAITING on shit to happen and go MAKE IT HAPPEN. I get it, you may not know how but there are ways to learn. Remember,

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” President Abraham Lincoln.

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Photo credit..Twitter