Everybody Hates CiCi

Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Sports Awards 2016 - After PartyThere seems to be a misconception in the black community that a girl can’t mature and “Level Up.” Hit R&B singer, dancer, and model Ciara has been the subject of criticism as of late. As early 2000s rapper Slim Thug took to radio air waves dishing his opinion on how Ciara can’t truly be happy with Russell Wilson because she is accustomed to thugs, and bad boys and Russell Wilson is well…a square.  Here is the video of what the rapper spit out about the talented songstress and her marriage.

Slim Thug Interview

But what is seeming to be so troubling is how black men can’t accept the fact that somebody accepted Ciara for the woman that she is. Along with her child. Yes! A single black man married, a single black mother and made her a wife. They also had a child of their own.  What Future didn’t see in her Russell did and now they have a beautiful family together. What woman hasn’t made poor dating choices throughout her life. She went from a girl to a woman. God forbid she matures into a “grown woman” status. Hence, the title to her new hit song, “Level Up.”

 

 

ciara-and-future-instagram-7Ciara seems to be a subject of criticism since the beginning of her career. She has been talked about simply due to her height, and not being born a full blown woman which was soon debunked. But what we can’t figure out is why she needs to be labeled as “damaged goods,” just because Future (Ciara’s ex and son’s father) deemed her unworthy although he has several children of his own. It seems like Future is the one who needs to think about his own future with all the kids he’s making. Besides why would Ciara need to be with Russell solely because of his cash when she is making her own just fine. It seems to us that when ever people are happy there will always be haters waiting to throw salt in the game.  Russell Wilson may be what other bad boys consider ‘simp’ but only if they knew these are the men that real women truly want. Not the smooth talking, future faking, baby momma having, trail of babies everywhere with no future guys.

Ciara wanted a man with a ‘future,’ and she finally got one is what it seems like and now that she is glowing and leveling up in life everyone has something to say. Well, Cici go ahead and be happy with you and yours.

 

Ciara

Love Triangle, Future, Ciara, Russell: Someone’s Bitter, “I BET!!”

WASHINGTON, DC - APRIL 28: Russell Wilson from the Seattle Seahawks and Ciara Harris arrive for the state dinner in honor of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe And Akie Abe April 28, 2015 at the Booksellers area of the White House in Washington, DC. The Japanese Prime Minister and his wife are on an official visit to Washington. (Photo by Olivier Douliery/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC – APRIL 28: Russell Wilson from the Seattle Seahawks and Ciara Harris arrive for the state dinner in honor of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe And Akie Abe April 28, 2015 at the Booksellers area of the White House in Washington, DC. The Japanese Prime Minister and his wife are on an official visit to Washington. (Photo by Olivier Douliery/Getty Images)

“Goodies,” and “Body Party,” pop and R&B singer Ciara has in my opinion truly upgraded. She went from Atlanta based rapper, Future, who is the father of her son to now Football star, Russell Wilson. And when I say, “upgrade” I don’t mean this in terms of looks,(Future is quite an attractive guy) I mean in terms of respect for her as we all could tell. He says cheating had nothing to do with their relationship but instead they grew a part and wanted to make “other decisions.”

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Atlanta native Rapper, Future

Now Ciara has grown and moved on, via the song, “I Bet,” she is now abstaining from sex with new beau Russell Wilson and someone (Future) sounds pretty upset about it, stating, “He may be just saying  it to say it, God didn’t tell me that. God didn’t tell me to wait.”

Okay, we get it, you guys didn’t wait. But why put her new relationship on blast? Sounds childish and immature, Sounds a little bitter, “I Bet.”

In Defense of Fatherhood

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Last week, actor Terry Crews caused a stir on The View with his statements (made online and also during the show) about fatherhood.  His basic point was that every child needs a father because there are certain things that only a father can provide; he went on to describe, in detail, what he meant by that and what specific things that fathers provide.  Additionally, on the show he made an interesting quote, “In this day and age, people care more about organic food than they do organic families.”  While watching the show, I reflected on this quote, realizing that people will argue someone down in defense of their gluten-free and/or organic diets, but often fail to see the value of fathers within the household.

As I reflected on the response that Crews received, both on the internet and also on the show, I was confronted with the reality that in American society, and more specifically in the African-American community, everything seems to be geared towards the mother. There are examples of this everywhere in American society.

Except in extreme cases (a la the recent Halle Berry court case/decision) courts tend to favor the mothers in custody hearings. Also, Mother’s Day is generally more widely celebrated than Father’s Day.  The disparity in the celebration of mothers versus that of fathers is quite possibly most often witnessed with athletes, actors, and other performers in giving their acceptance speeches when receiving specific awards or honors.

One of the most recent examples of this is the now viral MVP acceptance speech by Kevin Durant, where he pays homage to his mother with a long and passionate narrative, ending with the now equally famous quote, “You’re the real MVP.”  Durant does mention his father, but neither with the same length nor emotion that he mentions his mother. This may be because of the relationship with his father coupled by the impact, or lack thereof, that his father had in his life. Such may also be the case for most people who show huge disparities in how they praise their mothers versus their fathers. That is easily understandable.

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The damaging part of this super mom narrative (which was not created by Durant nor by other entertainers but by the American media), however, is that it has painted a picture in the American psyche, and more specifically within the African American community, whereby fathers are valued on a much lower level, if at all. In short, the role of a mother is valued at the expense of valuing that of a father. It is for this specific reason that Terry Crew’s comments about fatherhood can cause such a huge uproar, whereas Kevin Durant’s speech earns him greater respect and praise.

Don’t get me wrong, it is quite understandable for anyone, including KD, to give more praise to the parent who spent the most time and exhibited the greater amount of influence. I do wonder, however, if his speech would have been received as well or praised to the extent that it was had the roles of the parents switched, with him heaping the praise largely on his father and only a mere honorable mention for his mother. I wonder, in America and (more specifically) within the African American community, are we more programmed to accept and respect the narrative of the absentee or less involved father and the super mom?

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The story of Russell Wilson also helps add to my suspicions.  With Russell Wilson, the most recent NFL Superbowl championship quarterback, his story, and countless interviews show him paying the most homage to his father in helping him to become the man that he is today, even though he was raised in a two-parent home.  In researching Wilson, I found that his father did exercise considerable influence (positively) over Russell, as well as the rest of his siblings.

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His mother, however, was also an active parent but isn’t mentioned nearly as much as his father in interviews.  In short, Wilson honors his father in the same manner that Durant honors his mother.  The interesting part of this is that even though Wilson is a superstar athlete who has reached a level that most athletes (or anyone for that matter) will never accomplish, the story of his father (who is now deceased) has never received anywhere near the acclaim as that of Kevin Durant’s mother, even though Wilson is a championship quarterback, while Durant has yet to receive a championship ring.  Clearly the issue is not about the success of Durant over that of Wilson.

One must then ask the question of why Durant’s message and story is so compelling with the American public, and that of the African American community, compared with that of Wilson’s.  Have we truly bought into the narrative of the absentee father and that of the supermom to the extent that we are unwilling to even notice or esteem additional stories that don’t exist within that narrative?  In short, is it impossible for us to accept stories that include fathers into the scenario because we’ve been programmed not to see that as an alternative?