I was hooked, like an addict. I was getting high off his supply. Nothing ever felt so good then being pleased by him. Quinton knew exactly what I loved. No one could compare to his skills. Oftentimes, I felt bad about what we were doing. He had a wife and I had a boyfriend but he could never compare to the euphoric feeling I received from Q.
He had a stocky frame, all muscle different than what I was used to. But all I wanted was to embrace him. Everything felt so right when we were together.
More Coming Soon…
Okay, So as you all might have seen last nights airing of VH1’s Love and Hip Hop Hollywood. It started off with a very emotional Amber as her long-time best friend Miles precedes to “come out the closet” during a counseling session. She runs out the door screaming and crying. Yelling, “I knew it! Everybody was right about you!”
Now a shaken up Miles must consider was coming out to his bestie the best decision for him. It doesn’t get any better once his family finds out his secret too.
Although, it does appear that the gay agenda is often shoved down our throats through mainstream media. I did feel a little bit sorry for Miles. As I can only imagine what it could be like to live a lie, knowing you are holding back who you really want to be just to feel accepted by people.
But at the same time, I do believe VH1 is playing on this. I’m quite sure there are plenty of gay men AND women in the entertainment industry. They just don’t let the media into their bedroom so it won’t stop there cash flow and I must say I understand. However, I enjoy watching the Love and Hip Hop franchise but I do wish they’d hire some new writers because too many of the same characters have the same storyline and it gets boring & old fast.
Perhaps there is a double standard between homosexual women and men. Although, sometimes not right the world seemed albeit more acceptable of Erica Mena and Cyn Santana relationship versus Miles & Milan’s relationship. Maybe the sight of two men in the bed together just was too much for some people to digest.
I do hope that people find the courage to be who they really are. The only thing I can’t respect is “double dipping”. Which is being sexually involved with both a man and a woman. DL individuals need to be true to themselves so we can stop the pain and disease rate.
I respect Miles for telling Amber the truth no matter how hard it was for her to accept. Besides I don’t believe he saw her as anymore than a friend anyway.
Ladies, we have some things to discuss. Things have gotten completely out of hand in a number of different areas. Because of this, I have decided to call a town-hall meeting. Now, I know that some of you are reading this and thinking, “Who is she to get us together? Did we vote her into office or something? If so, then I demand a recount!” I’ll address those concerns now. No, I was not elected into office, and I certainly don’t speak for all women, which is why this is an open forum; please leave your comments in the comment section below. I am, however, a concerned member of the community of women, and as such, I felt it my duty to bring these concerns before you.
Concern #1: Unity amongst women. If I hear one more woman make the statement, “I just can’t hang around women because they bring too much drama, so I just stick with the guys,” then I’m gonna scream.
Message: Men do not see you or any other woman as just “one of the guys.” While it is true that men may be able to carry on platonic relationships with women, the women in these relationships don’t share an equal position with their homeboys. Men regularly practice the “bros before hoes” mantra. If you don’t believe me, then see who’s back your homeboy has if his boy is caught cheating. Even if he’s friends with the girlfriend, your homeboy will be loyal to the guy. Why…because the fraternity of men is stronger than the sorority of women. We need to change this. If they wanna live by the “bros before hoes” creed, then we need to take up the “chicks before…” well, you get the point.
Concern #2: Stop antagonizing our single sisters. This sort of builds on concern #1. Being single is a choice and not a disease or disorder to be treated, so we need to stop treating our single sisters as if there’s something wrong with them. After all, everyone was born single. Some may want marriage; others may not, but it is their choice, not their burden. Additionally, married (and coupled) sisters should stop treating single sisters as if they are all desperate, immoral pariahs; in other words, stop treating every single woman as if she is checking for your man.
Let’s keep it real, half the time you’re not even checking for him, so what makes you think that someone else is? Although there are always women who prey on taken men and vice versa, everyone isn’t like that, and it causes a strong division amongst women when single women are isolated and unfairly branded with the scarlet letter. Let’s get it together, ladies.
Concern #3: Respect other people’s relationships/situations. This is gonna sound like I’m backtracking from my last point, but I believe in addressing both sides of any situation. While I do hold that single women get a largely unfair share of criticism from married/coupled women who believe that they are trying to steal their men, I also believe that many women aren’t respectful of other women’s relationships. This goes for single, married, and coupled women–all of us can share in this disrespect. For example, I often hear women say, “Don’t get mad at me; I’m not in a relationship with you. Get mad at your man.” This is stupid, and we need to stop.
Yes, the person who’s in the relationship has the greatest responsibility, but that doesn’t absolve the other person. Truth is, that other person was interfering and disrespecting their relationship. Period. We can argue back and forth about this, but the truth is that every woman reading this would see it my way if they were the one being disrespected. To see it differently is to be selfish and disrespectful. It doesn’t uplift women, and it encourages cheating.
The truth is that we have been bamboozled and fed lies by some self-serving and selfish man. This man perpetuated a lie that there was a man shortage and subliminally encouraged us to “share.” When the truth is that there are six billion people in the world, and slightly less than half of them are men. There are men everywhere waiting on the woman of their dreams, and we pass by them every day. The man shortage is a scam designed to benefit men who otherwise wouldn’t be able to be a playa. It’s ridiculous, and we shouldn’t buy into it because it is harmful to our community of women.
Quite frankly, there are many more concerns that I have, but I only have the platform so long, so I’ll take this moment to pass the mic to the next sister. Please address these concerns, and also add any additional concerns of your own in the comment section. Thank you and have a great day.
Author Janae Marie and Publisher of Young Urban Voices, will be attending the Sacramento Black Book Fair. She is the Author of Flirting with Temptations and the upcoming book, Daddy’s Home. She is also the writer, director, and producer of a short film, entitled My Mother Donna.
Flirting with Temptations
Monica Clayton is a smart and successful Senior Marketing Executive at Shears & Perry marketing firm. A single mother to a five year old little girl appears to almost have it all until she is partnered with married co-worker Keith Jackson. Things take an interesting turn for the worse once the two become involved romantically. What starts off as an ordinary fling turns into a sadistic fatal attraction.
She then meets her next victim Computer Consultant Marlin Turner. She falls head over heels for him. That is until she meets his Latina fired up wife Kasha a small woman with a short fuse. After a mysterious encounter leads to murder Monica is forced to watch her back as she soon becomes the target of revenge. A path of sleeping with married men slowly begins to catch up with her when she winds up in a tragic accident fighting for her life. Monica finally realizes her actions could soon lead her to an early grave if she doesn’t change her ways.
While on a quest for forgiveness Monica meets eligible bachelor Jeremy Stuart. The couple plans to share their life together that is until she runs into Kasha on a plane. Who wants revenge for the pain Monica has caused. Is it too late for Monica to change her home wrecker ways or will she always be haunted by a past that will ultimately determine the fate of her future?
Abandoned, raped, homeless, molested are just a list of things Danielle Turner has endured while growing up. Being sexually abused at the age of thirteen by her alcoholic father and ignored by her mother after she witnesses the act herself, forces her to runaway from home. She tries to settle in with her Aunt Tralene and sophisticated cousin Sadie but when she finds out some shocking news about her parents, she decides to face the real world on her on.
Danielle finds herself homeless and pregnant after meeting Desmond Washington a popular student at her school. With no one to trust she turns to life on the streets.
She later meets smooth talker Dante Willis who promises to take care of her. But she doesn’t know that his promises come with hidden agendas. Danielle finds herself being forced into prostitution and abusing drugs to earn her keep in Dante’s house.
The hard streets of Detroit, grow her up fast but it isn’t until an encounter with her father that she is finally able to move on with her life.
VH1’s hit reality drama series, Love and Hip Hop Brings the most ratchetness of drama. But If you are the like the rest of us, you are compelled to watch this show regardless of this antics that take place.
First of, to anyone’s surprise we see that Joseline and Stevie J are married?!? Yet when Ariane and Erica question their wedding date she seems to be puzzled about it which leads to her frustration with Stevie at their birthday/wedding party. She then argues with Stevie about having them “check her” about their honesty of their relationship and for going to Magic City instead of following her after she runs out of their event.
Mimi meets up with her friends, and reveals to them that she has made a sex tape with her fiancé Nikko. The girls look concerned as she dishes the details to them. But once Nikko gives her news that his bags were “stolen” and his camera was in of the bags that were missing. He tells her that someone “leaked” the tapes and everything they did had been exposed. This leaves Mimi in “shock” as she tries to come to terms with the fact that her and Nikko’s private business is all over the internet. She claims that she didn’t know but we all the truth. The sex tape was just a prop to build more ratings for the show. If Mimi didn’t want the tape out there why is she on camera signing a contract for it to be aired. I understand that she wanted to feed her child but this whole ploy acting like she doesn’t know is just deplorable.
Once Stevie J finds out about the leaked photos he threatens to get full custody of their daughter Eva. Nikko rants about how Stevie J is broke and how him and Mimi are profiting off of the tape. Honestly, he seems like a joke trying to get opportunities off of Mimi’s success of the show. But if this is what they must do for a little fifteen minutes of fame so be it.
We see Scrappy is back but not with Erica or Buckeyee. He finds a new girl Bambi that he claims to be down with but yet can’t commit to her. From the previews she appears that she may be pregnant. So now he will be just like the rest of the many black men in America kids by two different women. Luckily, Erica has moved on and is happy. The only thing worse is messing with two women, Erica Pinky and Bambi is the fact that Mommy Dee stays in his business like he is a child. She tells Bambi that Scrappy has other eggs in his basket and he acts as if he has no idea what she is talking about. This creates insecurity within his girl and an uneasiness in their relationship.
Baby momma, baby daddy paternity test drama. Rasheeda and Kirk, what more can you say. They are back together but there are still underlying trust issues within their home. Kirk goes with Benzino’s advice of getting a damn DNA test on their son. He tells Rasheeda that he doesn’t believe their son is his. (How weird wasn’t HE the one who cheated on her?!) Okay yeah, thought so!
Newcomers to the show Tammy and Waka Flaka are a young couple with the same issues. Insecure girlfriend who dates rapper wonders if he’ll ever commit and stay honest long enough for them to get married.
The funniest bit to me is Karlie Redd and Yung Joc getting together. This guy hasn’t been in the spot light for a while so I wonder if the producers are really the ones creating all of this drama. She threatens him with an ultimatum that they need to move in together. She follows him to a strip club and is upset that he is there “conducting business.” The two talk about moving in but he doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to her.
What truly upsets me the most is how weak this show makes women appear. The whole “I need a man, and why won’t you love me” bit is so sad. This is sometimes a factor on why men don’t respect women because we jump hurdles for them when they won’t even lift a finger. I don’t understand the reason why these talented women chase these men and don’t have a life or career of their own to fall back on.
Every night I had to hide. Every night I had to hide from the pain I felt inside. I had to escape from the world I was in. The days he, my father would come home drunk, yelling and screaming as my mother would leave me alone with him as she rushed off to work as a District Attorney or so I thought. She didn’t give a damn about the misery I endured at home. Tonight like any other of his drunken nights, would be the day he would strip me of my innocence. Every night he’d come into my room, to kiss me good night. But those visits seemed so unnatural. The things he did, the things he wanted me to do.
“I’m going to teach you to be a woman,” he said.
I was only thirteen and was scared shitless of him. I knew what we were doing was wrong but what was I suppose to do? Yell, kick, scream then he may kill me too? I watched him unbutton his pants. I clinched the sheets, feeling a strong nerving feeling flow through me. I had never seen a penis before and I certainly never wanted the first one that I saw to be one of my own fathers’.
“Touch it, grab it and hold on to it,” he orders me. Frozen in fear I did nothing but look at him until his voice grew louder and with more anger, he took my hand and wrapped it around his penis. I let out cries of sorrow but he just slapped me and told me to “grow up.”
“I’m going to make a woman out of you.” He often repeated to me. “This is what makes you a woman. Now lay back as I put this inside you. You going to be a real woman, not like your mother that selfish bitch,” he tells me. I begged for my father to stop. I even tried to kick him in the groin but he punched me in the face and tells me to be a “good girl.” I hated my father for continuously taking my innocence away from me. I was never the same after what he did. I cried, screamed, shouted and pleaded for him to stop. I could feel every piece of me ripping apart as my father shoved his six inch manhood inside of me. I wanted to kill him and vowed to myself that one day I would. I resented my mother secretly for staying with a man so drunk, evil and crazy. I knew after tonight my life would never be the same again. He kissed me on the forehead as he fastened his pants to get ready to leave.
“Remember Danielle, if you tell anyone, they’ll never believe you. They’ll just say you’re lying,” he states to me as he walks out the door.
No One Would Listen
It had been almost two years later before I found the courage to tell someone what was going on between my father and I. I finally decided I would tell my mother. Surely, a good mother would stick up and support her child right? Hmmph, or so I thought, I found my mother working on some files buried on her desk, while tapping a computer keyboard in front of her. Slowly, I approached her with what was the hardest confession I ever had to make.
“Mom, can I talk to you about something?” I asked standing in front of her.
“Ugh, Danielle is this important, don’t you see I’m busy,” she replies with an attitude.
“It’s about dad.”
“What about him” She questioned annoyed as her friends tapped the keyboard, and eyes still glazed at the computer screen.
“Well,” I said, clearing my throat.
“When you are gone to work, dad does things to me,” I admitted.
“Does what things to you?” She says not batting one eye.
“He does things to me…he should be doing to you.” As quickly as the words poured out from underneath my tongue, my mother finally took her eyes away from the computer screen. That did it, that’s what got her attention. I just knew she would come rescue me from the dark hell I felt I was in.
“You lying bitch!”
“Always trying to seek attention, now if you don’t mind; I am very busy, Dani.”
“I’m not lying,” I yelled as tears rolled off my cheeks.
“He does this every night, you are gone. If you don’t believe me, ask him, ask him, momma!”
I painfully cried out as I tried hard to make this woman who gave me life believe me.
“Ok Danielle, what does he do to you?”
“He used to make me touch his penis, and then as I got older, he would come into my room at night while you were at work and have sex with me. I begged him to stop but he would just slap me across the face and tell me to be quiet. Please mom, leave this man, I beg of you for my sake?”
I pleaded with this woman to be a responsible woman and mother to do the right thing.
“How long has this been going on?”
“For two years,” I answered
“For two years…Why the hell didn’t you say anything?
“I was too scared. He told me not to tell you but I am tired of this. He is my father. I am fifteen years old. This is not right mom. If you don’t believe me ask him,”
My father had just walked through the door which meant soon it would be time for my mother to leave but not before we finally got to the bottom of this. I had hoped my mother would put him in his place. I was hoping his place would be on the corner of Woodward and 6 Mile.
My mother and I walked into the living room where my father was drinking a can of beer and staring out the window.
“Hello, Warrington, you got a minute? I need to talk to you about something ,” my mother asked my father.
“Um, sure, what’s going on?”
I waited in the kitchen while my parents talked I didn’t want to feel the awkward tension in the room. The conversation didn’t last long because, the next thing I knew my mother calls out to me.
“Danielle Latrice Turner, get in here right now!”
“Yes, mother,” I said, as I entered the living room but before I could figure out what was going on. I was greeted with a hard slap across the face. I broke out into tears as I grabbed my stingy face.
“What the hell did I tell you about lying Danielle? Now he tells me, you’re going around being fast with boys at school and you wanted to cover it up before you got into trouble. Well, Danielle, I have no damn tolerance for this nonsense. You brought this on yourself. Stop lying. Are you acting out for attention or something? I’m leaving for work now. I swear girl, I just don’t know what’s wrong with you.”
“Mom, I’m not lying and I’m not messing with any boys at school. Mama, please believe me,” I begged.
“Danielle, that’s enough!” my father interjected.
I looked at him and rolled my eyes with anger. How dare he say I am lying he is the cause of all of my pain. My mother grabbed her briefcase, gave me a disapproving stare and walked out the door. I tried to run out after her.
“Mom, please don’t leave me alone with him. I beg you, please stay home today.
“Danielle, please, get yourself back in the house,” I watched her drive off into her car as I stood on the porch too afraid of what to do next. I tried to sneak away down the street but before I hit the stairs my father called me back into the house.
“Oh, no,” I thought.
I went back inside going against my gut feeling. I should’ve kept walking. He told me to shut the door behind me. His eyes were stern and I could tell he was furious that I had told mom about our dirty little secret.
“Didn’t I tell you not to tell anyone about our secret?” He questioned frustrated.
“Didn’t I?” he repeated.
“Yes…” I answered as my father hit me so hard across the face I fell to the floor.
“I’m going to teach you a hard lesson about keeping secrets,” he said. I watched him take the belt from his pants off. I tried to make a run for it, to try to lock myself into my bedroom but my father caught me halfway up the stairs. He dragged me into my parent’s bedroom and locked the door. He shoved me onto the bed and told me he was going to make me pay for telling on him. He pulled down my pants and forced himself inside of me from behind. I let out small wails of agony and pain. My father was relentless when it came to destroying the purity I was supposed to have. I was only fifteen and already had the sexual capacity of a grown woman. I hated my parents; my mother for never sticking up for me. It was almost as if she knew what was going on between us but didn’t care. My father; for raping me of a childhood because he would rather torture me instead of stick his dick in some old woman. My parents were two messed up individuals. But why did my life have to suffer for it? This is the day I decided to take back my life. I told my mother and she did nothing. There was no way on God’s green earth would I allow this to continue. I’m ending this once and for all. By any means necessary. Danielle Latrice Turner is getting the little piece of happiness they took from me. My father was going to pay for being a sick and mentally disturbed pervert if it was the last damn thing I did.
He finally tired himself out and collapsed on the bed, falling asleep, the sick bastard. I got myself together and quietly left the room as my silent cries shielded the pain I felt inside but not before I grabbed one little thing from on top of the closet shelf. I unlocked the door as he lay in the bed knocked out. I left with something that I knew was going to help me get my life back.