Single and Ready
In 2016, it’s almost rare to find a man that still asks a woman on a date, and actually follows through. It’s crazy to say that the times we live in have changed the dating game forever. Where a man used to ask a woman on dates then picked her up, opened the doors, enjoyed her out for a few hours and returned her home with a simple kiss of gratitude, they’re now asking ladies to “chill” in its place. It’s a “not wanting to waste money on someone who isn’t worthy” mentality, and the saddest part about it is seeing women lower their value and conform to the popular “Netflix & chill” phenomenon.
Many agree that dating in this era seems pointless because men are only looking for sex and women only want the money. If we go to the time before cell phones and social media, dating was one of the only forms to meet new people. It allowed friends to set their friends up on blind dates. It allowed men to step their game up and come correct for a woman he was interested in. It allowed men to wear the pants as their woman proudly wore the skirt. Roles were not confused or switched during these times. And this created more dating then courting then possibly marriage.
Fast forward to the emergence of the internet and cell phones, and all sensible, single folks turned to internet dating sites and social media to “meet new people”. While cell phones and social media do connect like minds with other like minds, it tore down the art of dating and evolved it into this “smoke and chill”, “drink and chill”, or “Netflix and chill” era. At this point, a man spending his money on a woman who might not bed him doesn’t sound as inviting as that same woman coming over for Popeyes and a DVD.
Chuck Henderson of Wallstreet Insanity agreed that “hanging out and hooking up seems to be way more prevalent. Sometimes, this evolves into a relationship before you’ve even gone to dinner and a movie.” So where does that leave courting? Exactly where it left dating….in the past. Men are complaining that some women serial date just for free meals and movie trips, while women argue that most men serial date just to see who they can bed the quickest with no intention on anything but sex. With so many sex filled song lyrics, TV shows and movies in the 21st century, it’s no wonder that everybody has an ulterior motive when they meet someone new. Whether good or bad intentions, dating was created to help find commonalities in folks and figure out if forever is even an option with that person.
So how do we get back to what worked in the 1930-60s when people still believed in families and marriage? Easy! The first thing that must happen is people need to raise your standards and quite conforming to a person who just wants to “chill”. Single people also need to stop looking for sex in the wrong places and wrong people. Not to mention, women are incapable of having emotionless sex unless she’s being paid for her services. Sex is still an emotional attachment for every woman, especially those with their hearts on their sleeves.
Dating helps you get to know someone, figure out if they’re worthy of your time, love and presence, discover the commonalities between each other, and possibly move forward into a union. A smoke session with Dante isn’t a date; he’s more than likely trying to feel you out to see how fast he could bed you. Chilling on the block with your crush isn’t a date. She’s probably casing every dude out there to see who makes the most money. Pay attention to the signs because in everything we do, there’s a fair warning prior. If we’re trying to reintegrate family values into our kids, we must unteach then reteach ourselves the art of dating!
By Co Kane